routine, routine, routine. get up, work, come home, power nap and go out to try and save a city that doesn’t give a damn abut you or the work your doing. occasionally, the routine would get interrupted. love life, bills, real life duties vs masked ones—-needless to say with sight of jessica jones sprawled out in her loveseat in the living room, the regular routine would be put on hold. bright eyes flicker to the door, a brief check if jones broke the door like she had been known to do before–but no damage, on the door. jones? covered head to toe in cuts and bruises.
DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT.
that cracked a smile across anastasia’s face, enough to hide the worry settling beneath skin. what had jessica gotten herself into now?
“ i see you found the spare key. it’s fine, just a, ah… call, would’ve been appreciated. ”
locking the door with a flick of her thumb and forefinger, purse settled ontop of shoes with a drawn out sigh, anastasia’s lips were pursed in a tight line. she’s not surprised to see jessica, granted what they were. together, sloppy kisses and hands tangled in tresses, then suddenly not—a ghost in eachother’s busy lives. peeling off her coat as the private eye spoke, brows quirk in the slightest with curiosity.
hanging her coat up, cue her turning to face jessica once more, hand resting on her hip and head cocked to the left.
“ so, you’re here, to talk… about me? ” piercing blues narrow with a tired smile, hand pushing from the wall as she wandered down the hall, slow to cross to and settle on the arm of the couch a few feet away from jessica. worried eyes now had the chance to really take in the damage the other had been put through.
“ what makes me so different? i, i get it, jess. but you do this thing where you’re into me, then you’re not. you wanna get to know me, then you don’t. i’ve always been an open book to you, you could ask me anything and i’d tell you—but then you ghost on me. i wouldn’t call that fucking up per se, but it shows i’m not a priority, which i get, everyone has different ones. ” anastasia managed a chuckle, crossing her arms lazily beneath her bust. those big blue eyes might as well be burning into jessica’s soul.
“ what is it that you want, jessica? what do you really, really want between us? ”
gazing back into those piercing blue eyes proves to be a challenge she can’t consistently overcome. all while ana speaks, jones keeps her eyes locked on the floorboards, save for the occasional, quickly stolen glances. hands are knitted together between her thighs & she can’t keep still as anxiety peels away at her core until there’s just a pit in her chest. nothing that ana says is particularly harmful or aggressive, but it’s the fact that it’s all true & that jessica has no excuse for it that makes her feel so violently suffocated by the conversation already. foot is bouncing up & down with the clicking of her heel as a backdrop to their discussion, head is swiveling this way & that as she tries to find something to focus her attention on, but most of all? she’s quiet. very quiet. even when she speaks, it’s barely above a whisper.
any explanation jessica might be able to provide seems like it’d only be taken as an excuse. “ that’s completely fucking wrong. “ she finally manages to say. “ i’m never … “ a frustrated sigh, “ i don’t stop wanting to understand you better. i don’t just … suddenly not feel drawn to you. none of that is true. “ even if it’s how it looks, jess knows that it isn’t the case. “ i’m a goddamn loser, ana. & i mean that in an extremely, depressingly literal way. i’ve got my business, yeah, but everything leading up to that & everything about me is a big fucking zero. “ she shakes her head. “ that was fucking stupid. god, that sounded like the dorito in chief. “
one hand clasps around the wrist of her opposite arm. a nervous gesture, but less so than keeping her hands tucked between her thighs. “ i’ve fucked up just about anything i can fuck up. i’ve been fucked up most of the t imes where i could be. i’m toxic. i’m an alcoholic, that’s always fun for everyone that knows me. “ tongue slips out to wet her lips before pressing through the rest of what she has to say. “ i’m like a goddamn hurricane that just sweeps everyone up away with me. i’m a black fucking cat, ana. “
hand running up against her face to obscure a shuddering sigh, jessica ends with a bit of clarification. “ that’s how it feels, at least. then i … think myself into a hole. when i’m down there, it doesn’t feel like anyone can or should deal with my shit. i don’t want to implode & take anyone else – you – down with me. i’m just a fucking coward – i’m afraid of the pain that … comes with – “
whatever it is they are.
“ – you bring out the best parts in me. & i’m also worried that my best might still not be enough to justify the baggage. so i avoid shit. like these conversations. do you really want to know why you? “
jones’ face twists at the thought. “ you want me – jessica jones – to go on about how great i think you are? “
“ something smells like shit & it isn’t me this time. maybe it’s the bar. looks like that spot over there got stained with vomit over it’s unfortunate life span. god damn, i think someone needs to burn this bar down. “
yeah, she’s a little bit drunk but it’s an improvement over how she used to be. “ i’m getting some of those shitty fucking cheese sticks if you want any. don’t worry, they’re on me. you’d be pissed if i convinced you to pay for ‘em anyway. “
from behind the bar – where the owner had been standing just a few feet from jess, within earshot, comes a big, giant “GO FUCK YOURSELF, LADY!” which gets a somewhat sadistic cackle out of the private investigator before she launches into an equally toxic, & dispassionately delivered, response. “ what? it’s true, asshole, maybe you should clean your bar & check out how to make real cheeses ticks on youtube! i’m buying the shit anyways, right?! gordon ramsay has a goddamn youtube channel but you’re buying shit out of wawa freezers and gas stations! “
busted lip oozes red, absorbed into the towel wrapped around a bag of ice. from top to bottom, she’s beat up. sitting in the corner of ana’s apartment when she comes in, a cup positioned in front of her to occasionally spit blood in. it’s already got a good little collection going.
bundle of ice pressed against her face, jessica mumbles out a brusque welcome – her version of one, at least.
“ – don’t look at me like that. “
that, in & of itself, is telling. everyone knows jones doesn’t normally give a shit what anyone might think about her.
“ i’m fine, just got off work is all. sorry for dropping by without saying shit. “
withdrawing her cracked android phone from skinny jean pockets, it gets tossed onto the coffee table next to the mug of blood & saliva. “ but i felt like seeing you. to talk. “ cue a sniff as she diverts her attention, anything to fill the silence that would have been there otherwise. jess isn’t really used to this sort of thing. “ about you, i mean. i’m always so caught up in my own shit, “ she gestures to her beat up face, “ but … “ there’s a pause of frustration with herself, & she worries her tongue against her cheek, “ look, i’ve fucked up a lot. i’m just trying not to again. with you. i don’t know shit about most of the people in my life, i don’t want it to be that way between us. “
words come shallow, & jessica sounds defeated. “ i’m not. “ she quietly echoes, reassuring him. “ it’s just … “ raw throat swallows a mouthful of saliva, head cants away from scott. “ it used to be him i seen. in my dreams. sometimes when i’m awake. but it’s not anymore. “
fingertips drum nervously atop her knee as she struggles to be as close to forthcoming as she can manage. admitting what ails her never feels flattering, & although she knows there’s nothing to be ashamed of, she can’t help but to feel overwhelmingly abashed. eventually, she forces out the words.
throbbing fists unravel at the sight of a blind man. boots scrape against concrete as she drags herself towards the vigilante, the scent of liquor wafting off her person. behind her on the ground is a bloodied man, injured & cowering against a dumpster. “ what? “ comes a slow, slurred question. “ it’s not what it looks like. “ already, her words are combative. defensive. “ a girl said no but he decided to say yes. “ jessica cants her head back, hacking up a ball of saliva & phlegm, spitting it at the man on the ground. “ – tried to say yes. “ she corrects, moving to push past the daredevil.
jaw’s on loose from a good right hook, numbed to the bone & oozing red. matching this purge of emotion – this release – is nigh impossible, extraordinary circumstances notwithstanding. it was a hodgepodge of toxic bullshit stirred into her melting pot of trauma, drama & a bottle of jack that got her washed up at a seedy bar & half beaten asleep. not knocked out, mind you, just exhausted to the point where anyplace would do.
the pale skin of her hands are decorated in superficial cuts. scrapes on her forearms are beet red, & the smell wafting from her breath is distinctly unflattering. jessica jones sits disconnected from her world, isolated in her mind & drowning in liquor in a corner of the bar by herself. others look like they know to stay away, even the desperate men looking for a lay.
jessica reaches down beneath the blankets & between her legs, gently easing anna’s head away from her. it isn’t that her lover isn’t loving efficiently – nor is it that there’s any less passion there. “ i’m … sorry. “ words hesitantly break past her lips, eyes diverted & obviously ashamed, embarrassed. after a moment, she stands & disappears into the bathroom, the door shutting partway behind her. the shallow echo of running water can be heard, along with a handful of subdued, pitiful sniffles.
Triggering topics are acceptable as long as theyโre tagged.
Written by Michi
O O C .
Mun and muse are both of age.
I reply at the speed of molasses, and I do prioritize threads that click with me the best.
This blog will be loaded with spoilers! Jessica Jones spoilers will NOT be tagged starting January, 2016. Any movie in theaters or between theaters and home release WILL be tagged. Spoilers for TV Shows will ALSO be tagged.
I am available on skype, though I might be spotty. Anyone is free to add me, just be sure to tell me who you are or Iโll assume youโre a spam bot! My skype is {the.yummy.michi}
Mun and muse are separate! While Jessica and I have our similarities, we also have many differences. Donโt assume that Jessica is speaking on my behalf.
F O L L O W I N G .
This blog is selective!
The reason for me choosing not to follow someone is mine alone.
It takes me a long time to look through my followers. So if you have followed me in the past month or two, I likely havenโt seen it yet. My follower count frequently fluctuates, and Iโm lazy, so it is not something I keep up with regularly.
I will prioritize mutuals, but I will also interact with non-mutuals.
Just because I donโt follow you doesnโt mean you arenโt welcome to interact with me or send me an ask.
F E E L F R E E T O...
Remind me about an RP! Just be reasonable and understanding.
Tag me in a starter or send me an ask!
Reply to my open posts
Add me on skype, or message me to plan a thread
Ask the mun or muse questions
Become a friend of mine!
Offer constructive criticism.
Give feedback.
D O N O T ...
Be judgmental.
Attempt to force a ship onto me.
Attempt to force smut onto me.
Be rude, or generally insulting/unpleasant (OOC).
I N T E R A C T I O N S
I am open to one liners, Para, Multi-Para and even Novella length threads! The latter, however, will take longer for me to reply to under most circumstances.
Crack is welcome and encouraged!
I prefer that my partners be literate! This isnโt to sound cruel, but I find it difficult to follow posts in which I cannot understand what is happening.
You do not need to match length, but be reasonable. If I post a paragraph, or multi-paragraph, open starter and you reply with a single line, I will ignore it. There are exceptions, but Iโll leave you to determine these for yourselves.
NSFW will happen eventually! Whether it be smut, gore, ect.
I am very open to ideas and cross-fandom interaction! I also welcome OCs.
Dark topics, ones that typical are identified as triggers, are welcome here as long as they are tagged! Very few things bother me and Iโm actually deeply intrigued by the darker side of literature. As long as subjects are handled appropriately, then I am willing to give it a shot.
Unless it is properly justified, your muse should not know every detail about Jessicaโs life! Your muse should not have information that isnโt publicly available, unless there is an acceptable reason for it.
I tend to avoid OC Relatives to my muse. I can make exceptions, though, at my own discretion. Contact me before interacting.
I reply to some people faster than others. Please, do not take it personally. More often than not, it is because my muse takes me to certain threads before others. Whether it be because of the character, the writing style, or because I know the mun ooc.
No godmodding.
S H I P P I N G
This is a multiship blog.
All relationships exist in separate timelines/universes/ect. Unless stated otherwise.
I may eventually have a "Main Ship".
Chemistry comes before everything! I have my ships, but it should work on both ends before anyone makes it a thing.
Smut is not a necessity! Iโm perfectly fine with including it, but it is, by no means, a requirement.
Smut does NOT equal a ship.
There should be some sort of development before a ship begins!
I DO have exclusive ships, which means I will not ship with a duplicate of the muse. See below.
E X C L U S I V I T Y
Generally, I do interact with duplicates of other muses. HOWEVER, it is entirely possible for me to have an exclusive ship partner or an exclusive partner of a certain muse. Whatโs this mean? Simply put, if I have an exclusive ship partner, then I will not ship with a duplicate of that muse. I will interact with duplicates of that muse, hell they might even sleep together. But the pair will NOT end up in a relationship. THIS IS A FLEXIBLE RULE. IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS ABOUT IT, THEN SIMPLY ASK. If I have an exclusive RP partner, then that means I will not interact with a duplicate of that muse.
L A S T L Y ...
This looks and sounds like a lot. I know that. But, really, this blog is super lax. So donโt let the wall of text steer you away any. Donโt be afraid to just jump in and have fun.
credits
theme code & background were creatd by @devilout for akaknightress exclusively.
all icons that match the following were commissioned. they were created by @devilout for akaknightress exclusively. stealing them would be highly rude and frowned upon.
please do not lift bits of code, or steal. come to @devilout directly if you are interested in something. thank you.
